Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur
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| ” | Look at all the wonderful things you have, Mr. Burns: King Arthur's Excalibur, the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, and that rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it. | ” |
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— Waylon Smithers ("Rosebud") |
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Citat
Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/1
| ” | Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays, The Simpsons. | ” |
Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/2
| ” | Museum? Tomorrow? Oh, oh, Marge, I'd love to, but I was planning on... [thinks to himself] Sleeping? Eating a big sandwich? Watching TV? Spending time with the boy! [speaks up] Spending time with the boy! The boy needs attention, Marge. | ” |
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— Homer Simpson ("Lisa's Substitute") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/3
| ” | Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs, and I may or may not die young. I haven't decided. | ” |
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— Lisa Simpson ("Separate Vocations") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/4
| ” | That does it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins. My Krusty calculator didn't have a seven or an eight, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions, but this time, he's gone too far! | ” |
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— Bart Simpson ("Kamp Krusty") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/5
| ” | Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!' | ” |
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— Troy McClure ("Bart's Inner Child") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/6
| ” | The League of Uninformed Voters presents the Springfield Mayoral Debates. I'm your moderator, Larry King. Now, a word to our audience: even though we're being broadcast on Fox, there's no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering. | ” |
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— Larry King ("Sideshow Bob Roberts") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/7
| ” | Good, 'cause I have a hot date tonight. (löngdetektor piper) A date. (löngdetektor piper) Dinner with friends. (löngdetektor piper) Dinner alone. (löngdetektor piper) Watching TV alone. (löngdetektor piper) Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. (löngdetektor piper) Sears catalog. (löngdetektor plingar) Now, would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! (löngdetektor piper). | ” |
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— Moe Szyslak ("Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part II") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/8
| ” | Why me, Lord? I've always been good. I don't drink or dance or swear. I've even kept kosher just to be on the safe side. I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! What more can I do? I...I..I feel like I wannaa yell out, but I just can't dang-darn-diddly-darn-dang- ding-dong-diddly-darned do it! I just...I...*suck*. |
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— Ned Flanders ("Hurricane Neddy") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/9
| ” | I find the defendant not guilty. As for Science versus Religion, I'm issuing a restraining order. Religion must stay 500 yards from Science at all times. | ” |
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— Roy Snyder ("Lisa the Skeptic") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/10
| ” | Your theory of a donut-shaped universe is intriguing, Homer. I may have to steal it. | ” |
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— Stephen Hawking ("They Saved Lisa's Brain") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/11
| ” | Let's see, social security number: naught, naught, naught ... naught, naught ... naught, naught, naught, two. Damn Roosevelt! Cause of parents' death: got in my way. | ” |
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— Montgomery Burns ("The Mansion Family") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/12
| ” | Well, you know how it is with cops. I'll be shot three days before retirement. In the business, we call it retirony. | ” |
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— Chief Wiggum ("Homer vs. Dignity") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/13
| ” | Oh, what gave me away? Out of curiosity, was it the "hoyvin" or the "maving" or was it the whole "GA-HOW-VING!" thing that I do? | ” |
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— Professor Frink ("Sweets and Sour Marge") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/14
| ” | I've brought laughter to your homes three days a week, eighteen weeks a year, for twelve of the past 25 years. But wherever America has needed me, I've been there. | ” |
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— Krusty the Clown ("Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/15
| ” | It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland! | ” |
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— Groundskeeper Willie ("Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/16
| ” | We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds. | ” |
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— Mayor Quimby ("There's Something About Marrying") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/17
| ” | Who are you? What do you want? What year is it? Who are you? | ” |
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— Abraham Simpson ("Million Dollar Abie") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/18
| ” | Earlier on this broadcast, I said a word so vile that it should only be uttered by Satan himself while sitting on the toilet. I apologize and will make a large donation to charities that fight teen cursing. Good night. | ” |
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— Kent Brockman ("You Kent Always Say What You Want") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/19
| ” | Come on, Wikipedia, load, you unwieldy behemoth! [laptopen exploderar] Oh, dear, Sideshow Bob, "Hoist on his own petard." | ” |
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— Sideshow Bob ("Funeral for a Fiend") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/20
| ” | You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? | ” |
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— Homer Simpson ("Bart Gets an Elephant") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/21
| ” | Last night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever! Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. | ” |
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— Comic Book Guy ("The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/22
| ” | My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star! | ” |
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— Abraham Simpson ("Simpson Tide") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/23
| ” | Mrs. Simpson you must pursue your dreams! Like my old dream of coming to America and starting a family. Or my new dream, of ditching my family, and sneaking back to India in disguise! [antar amerikansk accent] Apu? Never heard of him! My name is Steve Barnes! | ” |
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— Apu Nahasapeemapetilon ("All's Fair in Oven War") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/24
| ” | [Som förklaring för att han kan ha blivit maktgalen] Well of course I have! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you. | ” |
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— Russ Cargill (The Simpsons: Filmen) |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/25
| ” | Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot. | ” |
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— Hank Scorpio ("You Only Move Twice") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/26
| ” | I'm saying, you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. You coast through life, you do as little as possible... and you leech off decent hard-working people, like me! If you lived in any country in the world, you'd have starved to death long ago! | ” |
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— Frank Grimes ("Homer's Enemy") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/27
| ” | Ow, I bent my Wookie. | ” |
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— Ralph Wiggum ("Lisa's Rival") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/28
| ” | Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. I'm filing a class action suit against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. I also play Mitch. | ” |
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— Lionel Hutz ("A Streetcar Named Marge") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/29
| ” | Ironic, isn't it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you! | ” |
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— Montgomery Burns ("Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/30
| ” | Look at all the wonderful things you have, Mr. Burns: King Arthur's Excalibur, the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, and that rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it. | ” |
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— Waylon Smithers ("Rosebud") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/31
| ” | I don't get what he's doing, and I'm smart. Not book smart or street smart or brain smart, but...somethin'. | ” |
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— Lenny Leonard ("Million Dollar Abie") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/32
| ” | Moe, it's all relative. Just like, is Lenny that dumb? (Lenny gäspar) Is Barney that drunk? (Barney gäspar) Is Homer that lazy, bald, and fat? (Homer gäspar) | ” |
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— Carl Carlson ("Pygmoelian") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/33
| ” | [Efter att George Harrison har presenterat sig för Homer] Oh my god! Oh my god! Where did you get that brownie?! | ” |
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— Homer Simpson ("Homer's Barbershop Quartet") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/34
| ” | Now I don't want you to worry, class. These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success... if any. | ” |
Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/35
| ” | Oh, come on, Edna. We both know these children have no future! [Barnen stirrar på Skinner i tystnad] Prove me wrong, kids! Prove me wrong! | ” |
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— Seymour Skinner ("The PTA Disbands") |
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{{citat|Bun-jerrr, ya cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys!|Groundskeeper Willie ("[['Round Springfield")}}
Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/37
| ” | Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over, 'conquered' if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves. | ” |
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— Kent Brockman ("Deep Space Homer") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/38
| ” | I've come up with another escape. I want you to tie me up and lock me in the trunk of your car, under the pier at low tide. All I need are these everyday objects — a toothpick, some liquor, a gun with no bullets, bullets, and three of my MacGyver writers. | ” |
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— Richard Dean Anderson ("Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/39
| ” | Hey Dad, remember how you said if I used a chainsaw unsupervised I'd hurt myself? Well, you were wrong. I hurt someone else. | ” |
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— Bart Simpson ("Don't Fear the Roofer") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/40
| ” | All I remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at Villanova... or maybe it was a street corner. | ” |
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— Barney Gumble ("The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/41
| ” | You need to focus on the neglected food groups, such as the Whipped group, the congealed group and the Chocotastic! | ” |
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— Dr. Nick Riviera ("King-Size Homer") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/42
| ” | Let's see—Farmer Billy's smoke-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's bacon-fed bacon, Farmer Billy's travel bacon... Mr. Simpson, if you really want to kill yourself, I also sell handguns! | ” |
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— Apu Nahasapeemapetilon ("Simple Simpson") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/43
| ” | Whoa! Whoa! A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies | ” |
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— Wiseguy ("The Homer They Fall") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/44
| ” | The hip bone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my... wrist watch... Uh-oh! | ” |
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— Dr. Nick Riviera ("Homer's Triple Bypass") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/45
| ” | This is indeed a disturbing universe. | ” |
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— Maggie Simpson ("Treehouse of Horror V") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/46
| ” | Back in my day we had people who stood up to roughens, we called them men! | ” |
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— Agnes Skinner ("Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge") |
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Portal:Simpsons/Citat från rollfigur/47
| ” | Now see here ya nose wiping hair combers! Back in Edinburgh, we had a coal miners strike! All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top! Then one day the mine collapsed! No one made it out alive! Not...Even...Willie! | ” |
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